Deep Breath

        'I've lost too much in my time' I thought to myself as I stared at his shrine. He was gone, taken from me by the wretched Dawnguard. For trying to protect me, he lost his life, now I must live on without him. I left my brother in command of the clan, not trusting myself with that much responsibility, especially in my state, and returned to Lakeview Manor where our adopted daughter, Sahri and I live. In my anger and despair, I destroyed the remnants of the Dawnguard, leaving their bodies to rot in their fort.

        What was I suppose to do now? Sedric was my everything. He cared for me when no one dared to. He saw passed my insanity and saw me for who I am. We loved each other, but now I can't hold him, or show my affection by being my usual self. He's now a lost soul in Coldharbour, a slave to Molag Bal, bound to the sinister land for an eternity, never allowed to leave. I ignored the growing hunger within me, the blood rushing through my veins boiling in the sun. I refused to let myself succumb to the ever growing bloodlust as my body craved for blood. I refused to eat. I haven't eaten in nearly two-weeks.

        Every time I grow attatched to someone, I always lose them. Was this the Divines kind of a sick joke? taking away everything I held dear? Who was next? Sahri? my granddaughter? My friends?! I felt another wave of tears rush over me, making me fall to my knees. I couldn't take it anymore. I need him. I need Sedric. I want all this to be just one terrible nightmare, where I wake up and I find myself being comforted by him while he whispers soothing words in my ears and runs his fingers through my hair as he calms me. I want to hold him again. I want him back. I've lost too much already, I can't continue to lose the people I love. First, it was my mother, then my children, then my creator, Vincente Valtieri, now Sedric. I looked up towards the sky and cursed the Divines. The wretched Divines that were probably laughing at my misery and pain. The same Divines who had forsakened me in my time of need. Who needs them anyway? They are cowards! The Daedric Princes are the true Divines, They rather interact with mortals rather than hide behind their shrines.


        Chills ran up my spine as Sedric's voice filled my ears. But it all seemed too good to be true. It had to be my madness trying to fool me. I wasn't going to fall for it's games once again. His words however, still rang in my mind as I stood, ignoring the mud on my trousers. Sedric, or just my Madness was right, All I had to do was breath. And breath I did.